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When Chazzie Grosshandler told her family she was transgender at age nine, the response from her older brother Lev became a turning point in how she viewed herself and her future. That private moment matters now more than ever: as more young people publicly identify as LGBTQ+, the role siblings play in acceptance can shape mental health and life chances.
Chazzie and Lev grew up inseparable — childhood games, shared jokes and the sort of small rituals that stitch siblings together. Today, in their 20s, those routines have given way to conversations about college, work and mutual respect, but the core has not changed: Lev’s early and consistent support made Chazzie feel understood at a vulnerable time.
“He never treated my identity as a headline,” Chazzie said, describing how Lev listened and leaned in rather than questioning or distancing himself. For her, that reaction was “the biggest blessing” of coming out.
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Why sibling support matters
Researchers and advocacy groups increasingly point to family acceptance — and siblings in particular — as a powerful buffer against mental health risks among LGBTQ+ youth. Studies link positive family reactions to higher self-esteem, better physical health and stronger social networks.
The Trevor Project emphasizes that brothers and sisters are often an overlooked source of support, and their day-to-day actions can normalize a young person’s identity in ways parents or institutions sometimes cannot.
By contrast, rejection from family members is associated with higher rates of anxiety, depression, substance use and even homelessness — consequences experts say are preventable when young people receive affirmation at home.
What allyship can look like
Lev describes his role as straightforward: he wanted Chazzie to feel safe being herself. That meant asking questions, learning about trans and nonbinary experiences, and treating identity as only one part of who she is.
Both siblings emphasize that focusing on shared traits — personality, interests, goals — makes support feel natural rather than performative. “We’re just everyday young people,” Chazzie noted, pointing out that identity is not the sum of a person.
- Listen without judgment: Let your sibling share at their own pace and avoid immediate assumptions.
- Educate yourself: Ask respectful questions and seek reliable resources rather than relying on hearsay.
- Use affirming language: Names and pronouns matter; changing them is a concrete way to show support.
- Stand up silently: Small public signals — correcting a misgendering, including them in plans — can reduce isolation.
- Keep showing up: Ongoing support is more valuable than a single grand gesture.
These actions are simple but have outsized effects. Lev says allyship often becomes second nature when siblings focus on what they share rather than what separates them.
Turning personal experience into public work
Chazzie’s coming out and her family’s response inspired them to launch The GenderCool Project, a nonprofit that elevates positive stories about trans and nonbinary youth. Their goal is to shift public perception by highlighting everyday achievements — artists, students, professionals — so audiences see human beings, not labels.
“We wanted to create examples that show young people thriving,” Lev said, explaining that storytelling can change how families think and act.
The timing is notable: Gallup data shows the share of Americans who identify as LGBTQ+ rose from roughly 3% in 2012 to nearly 10% by 2024, driven largely by younger cohorts. As visibility grows, so does the importance of practical, informed family support.
What to remember
Not every family story is the same, and many young people still face rejection. But Chazzie’s message is clear: there is hope. Even small shifts — a listening ear, learning new terms, using the right name — can change a life.
If you or someone you know needs immediate help, resources such as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call, text or chat at 988) offer free, confidential support 24/7.
“Don’t give up,” Chazzie urged. “You are not alone.”
